Regulated Adjustment
by Trekgirl01
Summary: Final (maybe) chapter of this story. Definitely a Carsan - something this site needs more of!!
1. Chapter 1

Regulated Adjustment  
Third in the Stable Changes Series  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine, no matter how much I beg.  
Spoilers: Brothers and Sisters and the following Third Watch conclusion  
  
What if Chloe and Joe hadn't taken back Little Susie? This story kind of intermingles with "Lost But Not Quite Found" and they both take place in the "Stable Changes" universe where Susan has moved into the Carter Mansion and no one has ever heard of Carby.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Aunt Susie?" the little girl laying in a hospital bed began. "I missed you."  
  
"Oh, I missed you, too, baby," I said, pulling her into a hug. "You feel better?" I asked, smoothing her blankets.  
  
"Yeah, Aunt Susie, just sleepy."  
  
"Go ahead and go to sleep, sweetie. I'm going to go talk to your doctors. All right?"  
  
"All right."  
  
I smiled at my niece once more before leaving her room. I had intended to go speak with her doctors again, but a surge of emotion made me head for the bathroom. All of the feelings I had experienced in the past couple of days flooded from me as freely as the tears fell from my eyes. I felt such relief knowing that Little Susie was safe.  
  
After a while, I quieted down and the tears stopped. Splashing cool water on my face, I looked at my reflection in the mirror and laughed. Little Susie was okay, and couldn't stop smiling.  
  
Emerging from the bathroom, I went in to talk to someone about finally adopting Susie. I was sure that I would be granted custody given Chloe's history and the fact that Joe was starting a new family. I had been with Susie from the beginning and the best choice for her.  
  
An hour later, I sat in Susie's room, furious with Chloe, furious with everything. Obtaining custody wasn't as simple as I'd hoped, and Chloe was ready to take her away again. She didn't outright tell me, but the confrontation we'd just had made that perfectly clear.  
  
Chloe left for a little bit and I went to Susie's side. She was happy her mom was back, and seemingly fine. My heart ached for the veil of innocence that covered her eyes.   
  
When Chloe came back a few minutes later, we apologized to each other. She seemed much more grounded than she had in the past few days after she went to cool off. We started talking and laughing, just like we used to in Phoenix. We were even talking of Chloe and Susie coming to live in Chicago. Little Susie loved that idea.  
  
I had gone to go get us some coffee, happily thinking about mine and Little Susie's future. I imagined them living in an apartment near the mansion, Chloe clean, Susie happy. Walking back into the room, my smile quickly left. It was empty, just like my dreams of the future.  
  
Talking to the nurse, I had found that Chloe left AMA. My heart hurt so much, realizing that she had been lying straight to my face, pulling her same old tricks. "Will this ever end, Chloe?" I asked, leaning against a wall, still holding the coffee.  
  
I was glad there weren't many people on the plane ride home as I silently wept most of the way. At the airport, I maintained composed and relaxed, though it took all of the effort I had within me not to break down on the cab ride to the Carter mansion.  
  
As soon as I closed the door behind me and started up the stairs, I broke down again. I sat on the bed, trying not to think about how much it hurt not knowing if Susie was going to be okay, not knowing if Chloe would lose her again, not knowing if I would get lucky again and find her.  
  
Carter came home not long after. He held me, told me I was going to be okay, let me cry and loved me. For a moment I thought that God had sent me John to make up for Chloe, but I didn't want to dwell on that, so I shut it from my mind, simply losing myself in his embrace.  
  
He drew me a bath and let me soak for over an hour. When I finally appeared in the doorway, he simply held his arms out and I willingly crawled into him, letting myself collapse, letting him hold me.  
  
I thought that I would have been used to Chloe's games by now, so it amazed me when it took almost a week just for me to be able to think about Little Susie and not cry. I sat outside by the pool one evening, eating ice cream and watching the sun set when John got home from work. I smiled when he came and sat next to me, stealing a bite of my ice cream.  
  
"Ooh, double chocolate fudge. We celebrating?" he asked.  
  
"Kind of," I smiled as he put an arm around me. "I feel better, John. I really do."  
  
"Feel better?"  
  
"About Little Susie. I don't have that awful feeling in my stomach about her. Something, I'm not sure what it is, but something is telling me that she's okay." I looked up at him and smiled.  
  
"Good," he said, kissing my forehead. "That's great."  
  
Later that night, we sat in the living room watching a movie when the phone rang. Carter stood up and answered it as I paused the movie. "Susan, its for you," he said.  
  
Getting up, I reached for the phone and put it up to my ear. "Hello?"  
  
"Susan, its me, Joe," the voice on the other end said.  
  
"Joe, is everything okay?" I asked, suddenly frantic.  
  
"Yeah, everything's okay. Chloe's in rehab, and there's something I wanted to ask you," he began.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"How would you like to adopt Susie?" I froze, speechless by his request. Here it was, my dream that had been dashed just a week ago. "Chloe's never gonna stay clean, I've realized that. I'm gonna miss Little Susie, but she's so much happier with you, and besides, I'm going to be moving soon. She'll have stability with you, and a much better life."  
  
"Yes," I said, as soon as I'd found my voice again. "Yes, Joe, I will. Thank you."  
  
"Don't worry about it, Susan. She belongs with you; she always has."  
  
I hung up the phone a few minutes later after setting everything up. Chloe didn't stand a chance to retain custody in court, and Joe was supportive of Susie becoming mine. My smile stretched from ear to ear; I couldn't be more ecstatic.  
  
"What? What is it?" John asked as I stood there, a goofy smile on my face.  
  
"I can adopt Susie!" I said enthusiastically.  
  
His face lit up and he pulled me into a hug, picking me up and twirling me around. "Susan, that's wonderful! That's the best thing!" he said happily.  
  
"You're okay with this?" I asked as he set me down.  
  
"Of course! I was kind of hoping that this would happen!" he beamed.  
  
I hugged John again, my heart bursting with joy and love.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
Chapter 2 coming soon!  
  
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	2. Chapter 2

Regulated Adjustment  
Chapter 2  
By Stephanie Muñoz  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Okay, we have cookies, children's movie, new toys, brand new bedspread. I think we're ready!" Gamma said as she straightened the corner of the red and white flowered comforter.  
  
"Oh, thank you for helping, Gamma," I said, hugging her. "This is all so wonderful!"  
  
"My pleasure, Susan. I really am looking forward to having Little Susie here. Do you think she'll like this bedspread I picked out?"  
  
"She's going to love it," John said, taking my hand. "Everything's ready for her," he smiled.  
  
Just then, the doorbell rang. I made a little squeak of excitement, before running down the stairs. Opening the door, I found Joe holding Little Susie's hand.  
  
"Aunt Susan!" she exclaimed, running into my arms.  
  
"Hi, baby!" I said before putting her down. "I want you to meet everyone. This is John," I said as he crouched down and shook her hand.  
  
"Hello there, Susie," he smiled.  
  
"Hi. Are you my Uncle?" she plainly asked.  
  
John looked up at me questioningly and I smiled at him. "Yeah, Susie, I'm your Uncle John."  
  
"And this is John's grandmother. We all call her 'Gamma.'"  
  
"Hi Gamma. You must be old if you're a grown up's grandma."  
  
"Susie," Joe began.  
  
"Oh, don't worry about it," Gamma laughed. "Hello, Susie," she smiled at the girl.  
  
"Thanks, for bringing her over, Joe," I began. "Do you want to see the house and Susie's room before you go?" I asked.  
  
"No, that's okay. I should be going. Susie," he said the her as she walked over to him. "Bye, Susie," he said with a hug. "You can call me any time if you feel lonely or sad, okay?"  
  
"Okay, Daddy," she said. "Don't worry about me, I'm a big girl."  
  
"I love you, Susie," he said, standing up.  
  
"I love you, too, Daddy. Have fun on the plane ride," she smiled.  
  
Joe left quickly. I was glad of it, I didn't want it to be too emotional for Susie, but she seemed fine.  
  
"Can I go se my room, Aunt Susie?" she asked, tugging at my purple skirt.  
  
"Sure, sweetie," I said, taking her hand. "Its this way, up the stairs."  
  
John and Gamma followed us up the stairs, eager to see her reaction of the room they had spent a long time getting ready.  
  
"Oh, its so pretty!" she exclaimed, jumping up on the bed. "It's a princess bed!" she said, looking up at the gauzy canopy John had picked out. "And look, little teddy bears, and pretty clothes! Thank you, Aunt Susie!" She came over and hugged me.  
  
"Thank Uncle John and Gamma, too. They helped a lot," I said with a smile.  
  
"Thank you, Uncle John, thank you Gamma!" she said, hugging them both. "When can we have dinner?"  
  
Gamma laughed. "The cook will be serving dinner in about half an hour."  
  
"There's a cook?" Little Susie asked, playing with one of the teddy bears.  
  
"Yup. Do you want us to show you the rest of the house until then?" John asked her.  
  
"Yeah," she said, standing up. "Is it a really big house?" she asked, taking mine and John's hands.  
  
"Yes it is," I said.  
  
"Will I get lost?"  
  
"I don't think so. Not once you learn your way around," John said.  
  
"Have fun, you three. I have some phone calls to make. I'll see you at dinner," Gamma said, heading down the stairs.  
  
"Bye, Gamma. Have fun talking on the phone," Little Susie called.  
  
John laughed as we headed towards our room. "This is mine and Aunt Susie's room," he said, opening the door.  
  
"Its like an apartment," she commented as we walked into the small living area.  
  
"Yeah it is," I said. "This is my study, and this one is Carter's."  
  
"Do you guys fight a lot? Is that why you have two different studies?" she asked.  
  
"No, sweetie. This way we don't get in each other's way," John smiled.  
  
"Oh. Aunt Susie, why did you call him 'Carter'?"  
  
"That's his last name," I explained. "Sometimes I call him Carter, sometimes I call him John."  
  
"Oh. Can I call you Uncle Carter sometimes and Uncle John sometimes?" she asked, looking up at him.  
  
"Sure," he smiled.  
  
"Does your computer have Barbie on it Aunt Susie? I like playing the Barbie game," she said, walking into my study to look at the computer.  
  
"Not yet, but we can put it on there," I said.  
  
"Does she always ask this many questions?" John quietly asked me.  
  
"No, I'm just curious, Uncle Carter," she smiled. "How about if I call you Uncle John Carter?"  
  
"That works too," he laughed. "Come on, Susie. There's lots more to see."  
  
We showed her Gamma's rooms and the other bedrooms and where all the bathrooms were before heading downstairs. After making our way through the entrance way, the living room, the kitchen, a couple of offices, and another sitting room, I could see how easy it why Susie was worried about getting lost.  
  
"And this is the backyard," John said as we went outside.  
  
"Its so big!" she said, letting go of our hands and running into the garden. "Can we plant flowers here, Aunt Susan?"  
  
"Sure. That sounds like a good idea," I said, taking John's hand in mine.  
  
"This is great," he said to me, watching Susie as she ran throughout the grounds. "She looks happy."  
  
"Yeah, she does," I said as he put an arm around me. "So do you."  
  
Just as Carter leaned in to kiss me, we heard Little Susie exclaim "Ewwww!"  
  
I started laughing and pulled back from John, burying my face in his shoulder as he chuckled, "Guess we were caught."  
  
"What's going on out here?"  
  
I turned to see Eleanor walking outside. "Susie, come here!" I called and she started running over to us. "This is John's mom, Eleanor."  
  
"Hi, Eleanor," Susie said with a smile.  
  
"You must be Little Susie," Eleanor started. "Oh, you're adorable, sweet heart," she smiled.  
  
"Yes I am," Susie said before turning to me. "Uncle John, why do you still live with your mom and grandma? I thought that when you turn 18 you move out."  
  
Carter crouched down and brushed her hair back with his hand. "I like home too much to move out, Susie," he said.  
  
"Oh. If my house was as pretty as this, I don't' think I'd move out, either. Aunt Susie, can we go swimming?"  
  
"Not right now, Susie," Eleanor said. "Its time for dinner."  
  
"Okay. I'm hungry anyway."  
  
"Susie, do you remember where the dining hall is at?" I asked her.  
  
"No," she said after a moment's thought. "Is there a map or something around here, Aunt Susan?"  
  
"No, sweetie. You'll learn it all soon," I said, taking her hand.  
  
As we went to the dining room, I heard Eleanor say, "John, she's an angel."  
  
"Yes she is, mom. Come on, let's go have dinner."  
  
"Uh oh," Little Susie said as she sat in her chair next to me.  
  
"What is it, sweetie?" I asked.  
  
"Aunt Susie, I have too many forks and spoons. I think I got some of yours." As she started to hand them to me, she said, "But you have too many, too!"  
  
"Don't worry, Susie," John said. "You use a different spoon and for each part of the meal. You'll see," he reassured.  
  
By the end of the meal, Susie understood. I sat back and listened to her talk to Gamma, Eleanor, and John. I could see that they were taken by the precocious little girl, and I felt relieved that Susie was happy.  
  
I had been afraid that she wouldn't want to come live with me in this house with all of these strange people, but it didn't take long for me to realize that Susie would be fine.  
  
After dinner, Susie wanted to unpack all of her things and get her room settled with familiar things. Just as we finished putting all of her clothes away, John knocked on the open door.  
  
"Okay, I'm off to work," he said.  
  
"Where are you going, Uncle John Carter?" Susie asked, putting away a pair of shoes in the closet.  
  
"I have to go to work, Susie," he explained.  
  
"You work at the hospital like Aunt Susan, huh Uncle John Carter?"  
  
"Yes, I do, Susie," he said before walking over to me. "I'll see you later," he said, kissing my forehead.  
  
"Bye, John. I'll see you later tonight," I smiled, squeezing his hand.  
  
As John left, Little Susie turned to me. "He loves you a lot, Aunt Susan. Are you gonna get married?"  
  
"Maybe one day," I said, smiling inwardly. "Hey, you want to go watch a movie downstairs?" I asked.  
  
"Yeah. Do you have popcorn?" she asked, excitedly.  
  
"Probably. Let's go look."  
  
We settled on the sofa a few minutes later with a big bowl of popcorn. As I started the Emperor's New Groove, I yawned.  
  
"Why are you so tired, Aunt Susan?" Susie asked between bites of popcorn.  
  
"Because I worked all yesterday and last night, Susie."  
  
"Oh. If you fall asleep during the movie, I won't mind," she said, turning back to the movie.  
  
"Thanks, sweetie." Sure enough, I fell asleep during the opening theme song.  
  
It seemed like I had just closed my eyes when Little Susie was gently shaking my arm. "Aunt Susan, the movie's over," she whispered.  
  
"Huh? Oh, okay," I yawned. "Did you like it?" I inquired as I took the disc out of the DVD player.  
  
"Yeah. I love that movie," Susie said, trying to stifle a yawn.  
  
"You sleepy, honey?" I said. She nodded and I asked, "You want to go to sleep?" She nodded again and I took her hand. "Come on, Susie. I'll tuck you in."  
  
"Are you going to be in your room?" Susie asked as I pulled the covers up over her.  
  
"Yeah. I'm going to go to sleep too. I'll wake you up for breakfast in the morning and John's going to stay with you tomorrow while I'm at work. Sound okay?" I asked, sweeping her hair off of her forehead.  
  
"Uh-huh. Night, Aunt Susie."  
  
"Night, baby," I said, turning out her light. I smiled as I left the door slightly open and walked into my bedroom. As I got ready for bed, I reflected on the day's events. I was so happy that Little Susie was here, safe and happy.  
  
I climbed into bed, wishing that John was here. I hated it when he worked nights and I couldn't fall asleep in his arms. Sighing, I rolled over and soon drifted off.  
  
"Aunt Susan? Aunt Susan, are you awake?"  
  
I rolled over and opened my eyes to find Susie standing next to the bed. "Susie, you okay?"  
  
"Can I sleep with you, Aunt Susie?" she asked quietly.  
  
"Yeah, sweetie. Come on," I said, scooting over and lifting the covers.   
  
"Mmm, thanks, Aunt Susan," she yawned.  
  
"No problem, Susie. Goodnight."  
  
"Night, Aunt Susie."  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
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	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
My eyes fluttered open in the dark. I smiled as I felt the bed sink a bit behind me and rolled over.  
  
"Hey, sweetheart," I said as John crawled in next to me.  
  
"Hi. See we have an addition to our bed," he said, referring to Little Susie who was curled up on the far side of the bed.  
  
"Yeah, she crawled in a few hours ago. What time is it?"  
  
"A little past four. What time do you go in today?"  
  
"Nine," I yawned.  
  
"All right. I'll be up by then and watch her.  
  
"Mmm, don't worry about it. Your mom and Gamma said she would play with her until noon before they have to go to some meeting. That fives you a full 8 hours."  
  
"You are the best," he said, kissing me softly.  
  
"I know," I smiled before allowing myself to fall asleep in his arms.  
  
The next time I woke up, Little Susie was still sleeping, but Carter was gone. "Hey, Susie," I said, gently shaking her. "Come on, sweetie. Its 7, time to go have breakfast."  
  
"Morning Aunt Susie," she said as her eyes opened. "What's for breakfast?"  
  
"Whatever you want. Go wash your face and brush your teeth and get dressed. I'll be in the kitchen."  
  
"Okay, Aunt Susan," she said, crawling out of the bed. She started to walk out, then turned back. "Shhh," she said, with her finger over her lips. "Uncle John Carter's sleeping on the couch."  
  
"All right," I smiled, following her to the living room. As she left and went back to her own room, I leaned down in front of John's sleeping form. I kissed him softly and his eyes quickly opened.  
  
"You know, I love it when you wake me like that," he grinned.  
  
"When did you leave the bed?" I asked, brushing his hair back.  
  
"About and hour ago."  
  
"Go on back. Little Susie's in her own room." He got up and stretched. "Oh, John," I started and he turned back. "Thanks for everything."  
  
He walked back to me and pulled me into a warm hug. "No problem."  
  
After making sure that John went back to bed, I went downstairs to get breakfast ready for Susie. Turning the small TV in the kitchen on, I watched the news as I made a pot of coffee. I don't know why I still watch the news when half of the victims on it end up in the ER anyway.  
  
Just then, Susie came bounding down the stairs dressed in a yellow dress. "Aunt Susan, can we have egg sandwiches for breakfast?" She pulled herself up onto a stool at the island.  
  
"Sure. That sounds good," I said, reaching in the fridge for some eggs.  
  
"Aunt Susan, what am I going to do today when you're at work?" she asked, playing with the vase of flowers that sat on the countertop.  
  
"Gamma said that she would take you shopping today for some new clothes. After that, John's going to watch you, and then I'll be home later tonight," I responded.  
  
"Oh. Aunt Susan, is my mommy going to come visit me soon?"  
  
I turned and looked at the six year old, not knowing exactly what to say. "Susie," I began as I crouched near her, "you know how your mom gets sick sometimes and has to go away to the hospital?"  
  
"Yeah. Is she at the hospital now?"  
  
"Yes she is, sweetie. When she's better, she might come visit you, but not right now."  
  
"Okay, when she gets better. I don't like it when mommy's sick, Aunt Susan. She's mean then," she said, looking down.  
  
"I know, baby, but you live here now with me and John and Gamma and Eleanor. We're all going to be very happy together, right?" I brushed her hair off her forehead and looked at her.  
  
"Right," she said, her eyes slowly lighting up. "We're going to have lots of fun here, Aunt Susan."  
  
I went back to making egg sandwiches for me and Susie, noticing how easy it was to slip into the routine that we had in Phoenix when I would take care of her, even though we were in a different house surrounded by different people. That didn't really matter, all that did was that Little Susie and I were happy and together.  
  
Egg sandwiches eaten and dishes cleaned up, I took Susie back upstairs. After combing her hair, I let her watch TV for a while as I got ready for work. As soon as I finished dressing, there was a knock at the door, and I found Gamma there, holding Little Susie's hand.  
  
"Susan, I wanted to let you know that Susie and I are off to buy some new clothes," Gamma smiled.  
  
"All right. I'll see you later tonight when I get back, okay, sweetie?"  
  
"Okay Aunt Susan," she smiled at me. "Come on, Gamma! Let's go! Do we get to ride in that pretty black car outside?" she asked as they walked off.  
  
"Yes, dear. Do you like that car?" Gamma asked her.  
  
"Yeah. Its like a queen's car. Are you a queen, Gamma?" she asked.  
  
"No, sweetie, I'm not a queen," Gamma laughed.  
  
"You look like a queen, Gamma. That would mean that Uncle John Carter and Aunt Susan are the prince and princess, and I would be a princess too!"  
  
I laughed as I heard Susie compare Gamma to a queen as I finished getting ready for work. Looking at my watch, I realized that I was running late and hurried out of the house.  
  
I walked into the ER cautiously, on the lookout for Kerry. The last thing that I needed right now was for her to yell at me as soon as I got here. I successfully evaded her and picked up a chart from the admit desk. Opening the door to Exam 3, I found a pregnant woman named Natasha laying on the bed. She was very pregnant indeed, and had her hands on her belly as she winced in pain. Haleh stood next to her, holding her hand.  
  
"Hi, Natasha, my name is Dr. Lewis," I smiled at her as I walked to the side of the bed. "It says here you're experiencing some discomfort and light spotting?"  
  
"Some discomfort?" she mocked. "Trust me, this is a little more than 'some discomfort.' I think that I might be going into labor, but its way too early," she said. "And the spotting was really worrying me."  
  
"You did the right thing to come in. How far along are you?"  
  
"24 weeks," she responded. "Twins. I can't believe this. I'm 39 years old, with four kids already, and I'm about to have twins. I'll be 40 by the time they're born."  
  
I ordered all of the necessary blood tests for Natasha and then got an ultrasound machine. As I flipped the monitor on and used the sensor to check out her babies, Natasha gasped.  
  
"What is that?" she asked.  
  
I started pointing out features on the monitor. "This is the head of one baby, here's a hand, there's another one, and a foot--"  
  
"No, no," she began cutting me off abruptly. "That, next to the hand."  
  
"That is the head of the other baby," I responded, suddenly noticing something else on the monitor.  
  
"Then what is that round thing next to that?"  
  
I looked at the monitor carefully for a few moments, then readjusted the sensor. I gently pushed on Natasha's uterus to move the babies a bit. After staring at the monitor once again, I decided to speak up.  
  
"Congratulations, Natasha. You're having triplets," I smiled.  
  
"I can't believe this. I'm 39 years old, and I'm going to have triplets," Natasha said as she started to laugh. "I'm going to have 7 children."   
  
"Yes you are," I smiled. "I've got to go check up on another patient," I lied. "I'll be back in a few minutes."  
  
"Okay Dr. Lewis. Thanks," she said, a grin on her face.  
  
I left the room and called O.B. from the nearest phone. I wanted someone to come talk to Natasha about her pregnancy. At her age, and with multiple births, I knew this would be difficult, and I wanted to have someone around who could answer all of her questions.  
  
A few minutes later, Dr. Peters, a friendly woman who had worked her for years, came down to talk to Natasha. After consulting with her for a while, we agreed that it would be best for her to go up to the 5th floor for a full exam. Natasha stopped and thanked me just as she was being wheeled out.  
  
It was a slow day, and I found myself thinking about Natasha often. 39, 40 years old, pregnant with triplets. I knew that Natasha wouldn't have a very easy pregnancy, but I still couldn't help but be jealous.  
  
I'm not sure why. Ever since Little Susie was born, she was as much my daughter as she was Chloe's. I didn't give birth to her, but that didn't really matter in the end. Just recently, she had legally become mine. Still, however, I thought that it would be nice to be pregnant with mine and John's baby. I still had that thought in my head as I drove home, but I was picturing it now.  
  
My belly would be large and round, I'd be sitting on one of the lounge chairs by the pool, Susie would be sitting next to me, talking to the baby, John would be smiling at us warmly. Another mental image flooded my thoughts: John holding a tiny infant in his arms, smiling at the baby who's eyes were just opening for the first time. He looked so happy in my dream, I wanted to see him that happy right now.  
  
I thought about the day I told him Little Susie would be coming to live with us. He was ecstatic; there was no arguing that. He seemed to be looking forward to her arrival just as much as I was. Maybe he would like a baby of his own.  
  
I entered the house and walked into the living room to find John sitting on the couch with Little Susie curled up in his arms. They were both asleep and The Emperor's New Groove was playing on the TV again.  
  
Waking John first with a kiss, I smiled at him. "Have a good evening?"  
  
"Yeah. We played outside and made macaroni and cheese and watched movies," he yawned. "What time is it?"  
  
"About 9:30. Are you still on tonight?" I asked, picking up Susie.  
  
"No. Weaver actually told me not to come in tonight. I'm on tomorrow at 7," he murmured, following me up the stairs. "You got her?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm taking her to the school tomorrow for registration; she starts Monday."  
  
"Oh, the school called today to confirm. I told them you'd be there."  
  
"Great," I said, putting her down in her bed. After pulling the covers up over her, we quietly walked out and left the door half open.  
  
"Think she'll be okay tonight?" John asked, pulling my hair away from my face.  
  
"Yeah, I think she'll be fine," I said, walking into our room and sitting on the bed.  
  
"I told her about the school. She seems excited to go," he said, kicking off his shoes.  
  
I looked at our reflection in the large dresser mirror and started laughing.  
  
"What's so funny?" he asked, turning back towards me.  
  
"Us. When did we become the picture of domestic bliss?" I asked. "A few months ago, we weren't even dating, but here we are, getting ready to go to sleep in the same bed, talking about our daughter going to school." I paused abruptly, surprised I had said that.  
  
John came and sat next to me and put his arms around me with a huge smile on his face. "She is our daughter now, isn't she," he more stated than asked.  
  
"Yeah," I smiled with relief that he took it well. "I guess she is," I said, leaning on his shoulder, perfectly content with our unconventional but perfect family.  
  
*~*~*~*  
Whoo, another chapter done. Don't worry, I'm not done yet!  
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	4. Chapter 4

Sorry it took forever to update! Here it is, the 4th chapter!  
  
  
  
Chapter 4  
  
It took almost a full month before we established a routine so that John and I would work enough shifts to make up for the shortage, and so that we were with Little Susie as much as possible. Thankfully, Gamma and Eleanor were around to help when we were both at work.  
  
On Monday and Tuesday, Carter and I would work the day shift, but Carter stayed on call that night. He got Wednesday off while I worked that night shift. I would stay all day on Wednesday, and had Friday off while Carter went in during the day, and we would both work the day shift on Saturday, and then alternate the next week.  
  
You have no idea how much finagling we had to do to score that schedule. It was hard being on for 24 hours at a time and I wished that I would work with John more and be around Little Susie, but then again, having a confirmed schedule and Sundays together was worth it.  
  
Unless it was raining. And lightning. And hailing. At 7 in the morning.  
  
John and I were still curled up in bed, unable to sleep with the storm outside. He half sat up reading a medical journal and I half sprawled across him, my head resting comfortably on his stomach, content to do nothing but lay there and inhale his scent.  
  
Our tranquil scene was soon interrupted not by the tempest, but by a six year old hurtling snowball. Or at least that was my impression of Susie as she ran into our room and jumped on the bed, dressed in her new white nightgown Gamma bought her.  
  
"Aunt Susan Lewis, Uncle John Carter, let's play a game!" she exclaimed, nestling herself in the V my body made with John's.  
  
"And what kind of game would you like to play, Susie?" John asked her, throwing the med journal to the side.  
  
"First, we play 'Let's Go Downstairs and Have Breakfast,' and then we play 'Get Dressed Really Fast,' and then we play Hide and Go Seek," she smiled.  
  
"And what are we going to do after that?" John asked, pulling her up so she sat on his lap after I sat up next to him.  
  
"Then, we play 'Clean Susie's Room,' and then we play 'Eat Lunch' and then we play 'Watch a movie' and then we play 'Go Outside,'" she smiled triumphantly.  
  
"My goodness, Susie, you've planned our entire day!" I said with a grin.  
  
"Yes, I did. Come on, let's play 'Eat Breakfast!'" she clamored, getting up.  
  
"Okay, Susie. We're right behind you," I said as John helped me out of the bed. Grabbing our robes, he handed me mine before following Susie.  
  
"Ooh, egg sandwiches and fruit!" Susie said, pulling herself into her chair at the table. "My favorite!"  
  
John and I sat down and enjoyed listening to Susie prattle on about her week at school as we ate breakfast. As soon as we were all finished, she reminded us that next we had to play 'Get Dressed Really Fast.'  
  
"I bet I can beat you up the stairs and get dressed quicker than you, Susie," John teased her.  
  
"Nuh-uh, Uncle Carter. I'll be upstairs and dressed faster than you," she smiled.  
  
"Okay, ready, go!" he yelled.  
  
In an instant, both he and Susie were racing up the stairs. I heard both doors slam, one right after the other, signaling the changing part of the race. As I finished clearing the table, I could here Susie's triumphant "Done!" echoing throughout the stairwell.  
  
A moment or two later, I heard John exclaiming, "Wow, Susie, you're the fastest dresser in the world!"  
  
"I am fast!" she exclaimed. A moment later I heard a small set of footsteps flying down the staircase soon followed by a larger and heavier pair.  
  
"Aunt Susan!" she squealed, burying her face in my robe. "He's gonna get me!"  
  
Just then, John ran into the room. Susie yelped and took off running again around the island with John following her. I couldn't help but laugh as John reached out, picked her up and twirled around a couple of times.  
  
When Susie finally quieted a bit, she said, "I love you, Uncle John," between giggles.  
  
John's face lit up and he said, "I love you, too, Susie," with a grin before setting her down.  
  
"Can I have some juice, Uncle John? I want to go watch TV for a while."  
  
"Sure, Susie. Do you want the blue cup or the purple?" he asked, opening up the cupboard.  
  
"Mmm, the blue one," she decided. "It matches my dress."  
  
"Okay, here you are, Susie. Once cup of orange juice," he smiled, handing her the cup.  
  
"Thanks, Uncle John," she said, taking the cup and heading for the living room.  
  
I stood up and walked over to John, putting my hands on his shoulders as he leaned against the counter. "You look very happy," I said with a grin.  
  
"I should be. I have everything that I could ever want," he beamed. "She said she loves me, Susan."  
  
"Yes, she did," I said, leaning in to kiss him. "And so do I." I drew him into a warm hug for a moment before pulling back. "I'm going to go upstairs and change."  
  
"Me too," he said, following me as I started for the staircase.  
  
"Didn't you already change?" I asked.  
  
"Yeah, but I did so in a hurry. In case you haven't noticed, this shirt doesn't go with these pants, and my socks don't match either."  
  
I laughed and headed over to my closet, picking a maroon shirt and black stretch pants before proceeding to the bathroom. I felt much better and more awake after washing my face and pulling my hair back.  
  
Emerging from the bathroom, I found John sprawled across the bed, dressed in a navy shirt and jeans. It was a rarity that I ever saw him in jeans. I guess that living in a mansion will do that to you.  
  
"What do you do in there?" he asked as I sat on the bed next to him.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"What do you do in the bathroom that takes so long? You have to enlighten me on these female secrets," he began with a small smile. "After all, I'm living in a house with 4 of them, and that's not counting the staff."  
  
"Female secrets of the bathroom? I asked with a small chuckle.  
  
"Yeah, I guess so. Why do women go to the bathroom together? What's with all of those little jars and bottles? You know, my bathroom used to be very uncluttered. I had soap, a razor, shaving cream, a comb, a little bit of cologne, and I was a happy man. Then you moved in, and every time I go in there, I find these little bottles with smelly stuff--"  
  
"Smelly stuff?" I interjected.  
  
"Yeah. Some stuff that smells good, some that doesn't smell so good. Like your 'tomato based facial toner'." That stuff smells acidy, and I don't want to know why you're using food products on your face. Then, there's your 'pear berry soap'. Now I love that stuff."  
  
"You'd better. I paid $3 for that soap," I smiled.  
  
"That was a very good investment," he said, putting his hands behind his head. "So, start explaining. I want to know why you use tomato based toner, and what that even is. I want to know why you spend $12 on an ounce of moisturizer."  
  
"You really want to know all of that?" I asked.  
  
"Yeah. Why not?"  
  
"Okay. Come on," I said, pulling him up and walking to the bathroom.  
  
I was surprised that Carter actually seemed interested as I explained the difference between a daytime moisturizer and night one. Just as I was about to move onto cleaners, there was a huge crash of thunder and the lights went out.  
  
"Oh great," I said, following John as he walked into the bedroom and then downstairs to find Susie.  
  
"Susie?" I called, walking into the living room, but not seeing her right away.  
  
"Aunt Susan, I'm still in here," she called from the couch. "I was watching cartoons and then the TV turned off," she plainly stated, playing with the buttons on the remote control.  
  
"The power went out, Susie. No more TV for a while," I said, sitting next to her.  
  
"Too bad. That was a really good cartoon. Can we play Hide and Go Seek now?" she asked eagerly.  
  
"Sure," John smiled. "I'll be it first, and this couch is safe. Okay?"  
  
"Okay," Susie agreed. "Come on, Aunt Susan!" she exclaimed, pulling me up off he couch.  
  
I followed her as we ran into the kitchen. "In here," I whispered, opening the pantry door.  
  
She quickly went inside and as I turned to find my own hiding spot, she said, "No, Aunt Susan. Hide in here with me."  
  
I agreed and walked into the pantry with her. We pulled the door closed and huddled in the back of the pantry.. A few minutes later, we heard John's footsteps enter the kitchen.  
  
"Shh, Susie," I whispered to her with a smile as she started giggling.  
  
"Ah hah!" John exclaimed as he opened the pantry door. "Found you!"  
  
"Run, Susie!" I cried before pulling John into a deep kiss while Susie made her escape.  
  
"Not fair," he smiled when we pulled apart.  
  
"Oh I think that was plenty fair," I smiled. "I'm 'it' now, but I got to kiss you."  
  
"Safe!" we heard Susie call from the living room.  
  
"Great job, Susie," John congratulated as we walked into the room. "Susan's 'it' this time. Go ahead and find a really great hiding spot," he said before leaning down to her and whispering, "Try your room this time."  
  
She nodded and started up the stairs. Before she was even at the top, there was a sudden knock at the door. John went to go open it as I looked out the window to see who would be visiting on such a rainy day.  
  
"Oh my god, John, don't open the door," I exclaimed in a hushed voice. "Its Chloe."  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
More to come very soon  
  
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www.members.tripod.com/trekgirl01 


	5. Chapter 5

"Its Chloe."  
  
John paused, his fingers inches from the doorknob. "Susan, are you sure?" he asked in a hushed tone.  
  
"Yeah. Its her,' I nodded, looking out the window at her as she stood in front of the door, knocking hardly.  
  
"I know someone's home!" we could hear her yell. "Open the door! You can't do this, Susan!"  
  
"Go upstairs and get Susie," John began. "Stay there with her until I come get you. I'll take care of Chloe."  
  
"No, John, the game. She'll think I've come to tag her and she'll run down here. You go stay with her. I'll deal with Chloe," I sighed.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yeah. She is my sister, John. I should be used to this."  
  
"Okay. I'll send down Joshua," he said, referring to one of Gamma's drivers. "It will be okay, Susan," he said, kissing the top of my head. "She's ours now."  
  
"Don't worry. Hurry, go find her before she gets impatient." I watched John head toward the library to get Joshua, then run up the stairs.  
  
"Can I help you?" Joshua asked in his polite tone.  
  
"Yeah, I don't know if John explained, but my sister is at the door. I'm going to answer it and tell her to leave, but I don't know how she'll handle it," I said.  
  
At that moment, Chloe knocked on the door again. "Susan! You can't take my daughter! Someone! Open this door!"  
  
"Don't worry, Miss Susan. If she tries anything, we will call the police, and I'll be right here."  
  
"Thank you, Joshua," I said before taking a moment to steady myself. After a deep breath, I opened the door. "Chloe," I simply said.  
  
"Give her back, Susan. I want my daughter back!" she yelled at me.  
  
"She isn't yours anymore, Chloe. I've adopted her, and Joe supports that decision. You need to leave." I tried to sound stern, but truly scared on the inside. I wasn't sure what lengths Chloe would go to in order to get Little Susie back.  
  
"But she's my baby, Susan! You know how much I love her!" she cried out, her voice wavering on the edge of tears. "Please, Susan, give me back my baby!"  
  
"Chloe, you're constantly in and out of rehab. You abandoned her in New York City, Chloe! New York! How can you even think that you are ever going to get custody of her again?"  
  
"But Susan, I'm doing great now! I'm clean, and I'm going to get an apartment here in Chicago, and--"  
  
"Save it, Chloe. I don't know how many times you've told me that you're clean, and how many times I've been naïve enough to believe you. You need to leave Chloe. Get off the property, and don't come back, or I'm calling the police."  
  
"No, Susan, you can't! I really am clean now! I'll be a good mom!"  
  
"Look, maybe you can visit her some time, but not now. Goodbye Chloe."  
  
"Susan, no! She's my daughter! Susan, don't call the cops! You can't hide in this big house all the time! You can't rely on that bodyguard or butler or whatever he is, Susan! She's mine!"  
  
I closed the door before and locked it before leaning against it. I could still hear her outside, begging to let her see Susie, threatening me and John.  
  
"Miss Susan," Joshua began. "Shall I call the police?"  
  
I nodded, not saying anything. As Joshua was on the telephone, asking for a patrol car to be sent, I sat on the bottom step, putting my head in my hands.  
  
"Excuse me, Miss Susan, they'll have someone over within five minutes."  
  
"Thank you, Joshua," I said, between tears.  
  
"I'll go up and get Master John," he said, starting up the stairs.  
  
"Oh, please don't, Joshua. He's staying with Susie. I don't want her to know her mom is here."  
  
"Very well, then. I'm glad I could have been of service," he said, before walking back to the library.  
  
I wiped away the last few tears a moment later and started up the stairs.  
  
"John?" I called out I opened Susie's door and entered the room, completely forgetting about the game.  
  
Susie jumped out from the closet and ran down the stairs, racing for the safe area.  
  
"Oh no, Susie! Come back!" I yelled.  
  
"What happened?" John asked, following me closely down the stairs.  
  
"Chloe's still outside. The police are on their way," I explained.  
  
Though we ran down the stairs as quickly as possible, we were too late.  
  
"Mommy?" Susie yelled through the window, noticing the flashing police lights and seeing her mother.  
  
"Susie, come here," I said to her.  
  
"Aunt Susan, why is my Mommy here? Mommy!" she yelled again.  
  
"Susie! Baby, Mommy's here!" we heard Chloe call back.  
  
"They're taking her! Stop them! Stop the police from taking my Mommy away!" she cried.  
  
"Susie, come here," John said, picking her up. I followed him close behind as he went into the living room. "Sweetie, you can't go with your mom."  
  
"But I just want to see her, Uncle John. I want to know she's okay. I don't' want the police to be mean to her. Why did they take her away?" she asked, wiping a tear away.  
  
"Because she isn't supposed to be here, Susie," I started to explain. "You're Mom's sick again. You know how she gets sick, and how she's a different person when she's sick?" Susie nodded and I continued. "You see, John and I adopted you. A judge said that you have to come live with us now, that you couldn't live with your Mom anymore because she gets sick so much."  
  
"But Mommy told me that she can't help getting sick. I just want to make sure she's okay, Aunt Susan. Why were the police taking her? Why did they do that?"  
  
"When the judge said that you had to live here with me and Aunt Susan, he also said that your mom isn't allowed to see you unless she's better. She's not better, yet, Susie. She might hurt you or take you away. For your safety, we can't let her see you until she's all better."  
  
Susie buried her head in John's shoulder and cried for a little bit. John sat back against the sofa and held her, gently brushing her hair back. I sat against his side, smiling as I felt his hand clasp mine. "Its going to be okay. Its all going to be okay."  
  
I wasn't sure if he was talking to Susie or to me. Maybe to the both of us.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
To be continued....  
Trekgirl01@aol.com  
members.tripod.com/trekgirl01 


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks to everyone who took the time to review! I try to take everyone's comments into consideration, but I can't help it if my writing is overly sappy! I'd much rather believe in a sappy Carsan story than in anything that even hints at the possibility of Carby.  
  
  
  
Chapter 6  
  
  
  
I was surprised that Susie calmed down after the incident with Chloe. John had to appease her with a bowl of ice cream, but she didn't seem so depressed. We had a small lunch, then sat around, watching a movie on TV. When it was over, Susie said she wanted to go upstairs to play with the dolls Gamma had bought her the day before.  
  
I went upstairs to check on her a while later and found her sound asleep. As I brushed her hair back and kissed her cheek, her eyes fluttered open.  
  
"Hey, Susie. Want to go outside and play with John and me? It stopped raining a little while ago."  
  
"Not right now, Aunt Susan," she said. "Can I call Katie and see if she wants to play?" she asked, referring to a girl who lived at the end of the block and was also in Susie's class.  
  
"Sure. That sounds great," I smiled at her.  
  
An hour later, Susie was over at Katie's house and John and I were nestled on the couch, my feet in his lap. I was flipping through channels, and John was reading that medical journal again. I got frustrated and turned the TV off and laid my head back against the armrest, looking up at the ceiling.  
  
"I haven't' seen your mom today," I commented.  
  
"She's filling in for Gamma at some luncheon. She left when you were upstairs with Susie," he said, turning the page.  
  
"Oh. How is Gamma today?" I asked.  
  
"Tired. She hasn't been sleeping well lately, but she won't let me prescribe something for her."  
  
I remained silent for a little while before asking, "John, do you think Chloe should be allowed to see Susie?"  
  
"I don't know," he sighed, putting down the journal. "On one hand, she is Susie's mother, but on the other hand, she's screwed up too many times to be allowed to have shared custody or anything."  
  
"Joe said she left rehab. She didn't even finish the program. As soon as she heard I adopted Susie, she left."  
  
"What took her so long to show up here if she left that long ago?" he asked.  
  
"I'm not sure. Maybe it took her that long to find us. I never told her that we moved in together. We never got around to talking about personal stuff in New York," I sighed. "Bet it was a real surprise to find out I was living here."  
  
I went back to blankly staring at the ceiling.  
  
"She's not clean, Susan," John began. "She certainly shouldn't be allowed to see Susie alone, but maybe if she came over, or if we met her somewhere and all stayed together."  
  
"Maybe," I sighed. "I'm just sick of it all, John. Part of me wants to tell her that I quit. I quit playing this game and I never want to see her again. But the other part of me keeps reminding me that she's my sister, that I don't have the choice to quit, and that I shouldn't."  
  
I stood up and went into the kitchen After getting a soda from the fridge, I sat down and put my head in my hands, trying to figure out what to do about Chloe.  
  
John came in a few moments later and sat next to me before stealing a sip of my soda.  
  
"I want to help her, John. I really do. I want her to stay clean, to be involved in Susie's life. But I don't trust her. I don't think she can do it." I paused to drink my soda. "How did you do it?" I asked quietly, almost afraid to broach the subject.  
  
He sighed. "I stayed in rehab. It took me a while, but I finally finished. I came back, I had friends and I had Gamma. But most importantly, I had work. I was lucky, Susan. I've managed to stay clean. Maybe if Chloe realizes that she can get to see Susie more often if she stays clean, she'll do it. She'll never have custody again, but she'll get to be a part of her daughter's life." He stood up and stood behind me, rubbing my shoulders for a moment. "Think about it. I'm going to go upstairs and take a shower, then go grocery shopping. Want to come?"  
  
"I don't know. Maybe," I sighed.  
  
"Think about it," he repeated. "Think about everything."  
  
As he headed upstairs, I got the phone and called Joe to ask if he knew how I could get a hold of Chloe. He gave me a phone number. As I hung up the phone, I sighed, realizing that he didn't even ask how Susie was.  
  
John was just coming into the kitchen after his shower when I hung up the phone. I turned to him with a small smile. "We talked. I got a hold of Chloe. She's going to go back to rehab, and she wants to meet us at the mall next Sunday."  
  
"Good," he smiled. "It's the first step," he smiled.  
  
I wanted to believe that this would work out. I wanted to believe that Chloe would do better. I wanted to believe that I could believe in her, but I knew, deep down, that I couldn't.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Part 7 coming soon  
  
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members.tripod.com/trekgirl01 


	7. Chapter 7

This is kind of a short chapter. Lots of Carsan happiness, with Little Susie thrown in for cuteness.  
  
Chapter 7  
  
John and I never told Susie that we were going to meet Chloe at the zoo. John woke her up early that Sunday morning, simply saying that we were going to visit the monkeys, her favorite animals.  
  
The smile on her face as we stood by the monkey habitat was priceless. Although I wasn't a big fan of zoos in general, seeing Susie so happy made me forget about the animals in captivity. I was able to enjoy them like Susie did, fully and innocently.  
  
"Uncle John, can we go look at some other animals now?" Susie asked.  
  
He gave me a questioning look, not sure what to say. We had been waiting here by the monkey habitat for Chloe to show up for almost an hour. I wasn't sure if we should give up on her and enjoy the rest of the day, or wait a little longer.  
  
"How about we get an ice cream cone, and then go see some more animals?" I suggested.  
  
"Okay, Aunt Susan," she smiled.  
  
"All right. You two wait here, I'll go get ice cream," John smiled. As he was walking toward the nearby vendor, he tripped on a small palm tree branch that had fallen nearby. While he didn't fall, it was enough to make him falter for a bit, and I smiled, suddenly seeing him as the young, clumsy med student I used to know.  
  
"Uncle John looks like a monkey," Susie laughed as she saw him stagger slightly.  
  
"He does?" I asked, half teasing.  
  
"Yeah, Aunt Susan. He sometimes reminds me of a monkey, like that one there," she said, pointing to a monkey that had just emerged from a shaded area. "See how that monkey is carrying its baby? That's like Uncle John and me," she announced.  
  
I looked at the monkeys and then at John, who had just returned, juggling three ice cream cones in his hands.  
  
"What?" he asked with a grin.  
  
"Susie says that you look like a monkey," I chuckled.  
  
"Oh, I do," he said to Susie.  
  
"Yeah, Uncle John. Look," she said, motioning to the monkeys with her free hand. "See that monkey, the one holding the baby?"  
  
"Yeah," he said, looking over and spotting them.  
  
"That's like when you pick me up and carry me. That's why we're like the monkeys."  
  
"Oh, I see. So is Aunt Susan like a monkey too?"  
  
"Yeah. She's that one there," she said, pointing to a monkey that was near the other ones. "That's the monkey family," she continued, "and we're a human family, but we're still like the monkeys.  
  
John and I laughed and enjoyed the ice cream, watching Susie as she imitated the monkeys. Almost another half hour had passed before I decided to give up.  
  
"Hey Susie," I started, standing up. "Which animals do you want to see next?"  
  
"The parrots! I like it when they talk," she decided.  
  
"Okay, off to see the parrots," John said, standing next to me and taking my hand. "I'm sorry," he whispered.  
  
"Me too," I replied in a hushed voice. "But I should have known not to believe in her," I said, looking down.  
  
Carter put his hand on the back of my neck and rubbed it gently as the three of us made our way to the Tropical Birds area.  
  
My mood soon lifted and I forgot about Chloe as we had fun listening to Susie compare her friends at school or teachers to the different animals.  
  
We left the zoo just before the sun set. As soon as John turned on the car, I noticed Susie's eyes start to droop and she was soon asleep. We rode for a while in silence until I felt John's hand rest on mine.  
  
"Susie sure had fun today," he began. "Maybe next time, Chloe will show up and--"  
  
"No, John," I said, cutting him off. "There isn't going to be a next time. The state ruled that Chloe is an unfit mother, they gave her to me. While Chloe is Susie's mother, I don't owe her anything. I only owe Susie. I owe her the best life I can give her." I paused and squeezed his hand. "Thank you. Thank you for being so wonderful, such a good part in Susie's life, and in mine."  
  
If her weren't' driving, I'm sure he would have kissed me, but the look he gave me was worth more.  
  
I turned back to look out the window, determined to fulfill my words and give Susie the best life. Though I wished Chloe could be part of her life, I realized that she wasn't ready to. I didn't want to give up faith in my sister, and though I have very little to justify that faith, I could always hope that one day, Chloe would be better, and be able to see her daughter grow up.  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
I've reached a turning point in this story, and need input.  
  
I could continue this story with and idea that I have floating around in my head that I could write in a couple of days. The problem is, that idea could easily turn this tory into a saga, which it already might be.  
  
Or, I could put this storyline on hold for a little bit, and make it its own new story.  
  
So what should I do? Continue this one, or start a new story?  
  
Trekgirl01@aol.com  
  
members.tripod.com/trekgirl01 


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry it took forever to update. For a while there, I actually had a life and something to do besides write! But all of the birthday and graduation parties are over, so I'm back to indulgin myself in a happy Carsan world!  
  
  
  
Chapter 8  
  
I sat on the window seat, staring out at the storm late Sunday evening, amazed that it was raining again. After living in Arizona, land of eternal sunshine, I really missed the rain. I missed its steady sound, it smell, even the way it made my hair frizz and slightly wavy. In Chicago, the rain was something I could depend on.  
  
Unlike Chloe. No, I take that back. I can always depend on Chloe to screw up a good thing. I just hung up the phone on her. She called with some pitiful excuse as to why she didn't show up at the zoo earlier today. She sounded high, and had the audacity to ask if she could borrow money until her paycheck came in on Friday. I seriously doubt that she has a job.  
  
I tried to reason with her, tried to deal with her. I should know by now that doesn't work. I love Chloe. She's my sister, and though I hate the way she is living, there's an indestructible bond between us that only sisters know of. But it's a bond she seems hell bent on breaking.  
  
After I suggested that she go to rehab and get clean before she visited Susie, she blew up, stating that she was clean and that I shouldn't keep her from her daughter. After insulting me, she made some crack about John and me being a gold digger, which really was too much. I couldn't handle it anymore and hung up, mad that I let her get to me. Again.  
  
The rain slowly stopped falling. I got up to take a shower, and by the time I had returned, it had completely stopped raining. I was standing by the window, watching the trees outside bend and sway in the wind when I heard John enter the room.  
  
"You going to sleep?" he asked, putting his hands on my shoulders and standing behind me.  
  
"Soon," I said, leaning back against him. "I just want to go to sleep and forget all about Chloe."  
  
"I take it that your conversation with her didn't go well."  
  
"That's an understatement," I snickered. "She's using again, and I'm surprised that she even knew that today was Sunday. She made some empty threats against us, the 'kidnappers of her child,' then, in the middle of a verbal assault upon me, I hung up the phone. After all these years, she knows exactly what to do to set me off, and I let it get to me every time."  
  
"Maybe that's a good thing," John murmured in my ear.  
  
"How's that?"  
  
"It means that you still care about her. It still matters to you what your sister thinks about you."  
  
"I don't know that is a good thing," I sighed, sitting on the bed.  
  
"It is," he said simply before heading into the bathroom. When I heard the shower turn on, I climbed into bed and smoothed the covers around me, thinking about John's words.  
  
I don't think I could not care for Chloe. I just don't know what good my caring can do.  
  
Yawning, I decided to put all thoughts of Chloe out of my head. I smiled, thinking about the day the three of us spent at the zoo. A small part of me is glad Chloe didn't show up. Her absence allowed us to enjoy the day as a family. With that thought, I smiled as I slowly drifted off to sleep.  
  
The next few days passed quickly, and I woke up before the alarm went off Friday morning. I was glad that I didn't have to work that day, and headed downstairs, intending to make breakfast.  
  
"What are you doing up so early?" I asked Susie, who was sitting on a stool in the kitchen watching cartoons.  
  
"I don't know. I woke up a while ago and got bored. Are you making breakfast, Aunt Susan?" she asked as I got a pan out and turned the stove on.  
  
"Yes I am, Susie. Would you rather have bacon or sausage today?"  
  
"Mmm, sausage. I don't like bacon that much," she said, turning back to the TV.  
  
"What's going on down here?" I heard John's still sleepy voice ask as he entered the kitchen.  
  
"Aunt Susan is making sausage, and I'm watching cartoons," Susie answered, not looking away from the TV.  
  
"I see," John smiled, giving Susie and I both a kiss on the cheek. "I'm going to go get the paper," he said, walking outside.  
  
By the time he came back in, the coffee had finished brewing and I poured each of us a cup. He thanked me with a kiss before sitting next to Susie and sorting through the mail.  
  
"You got a letter," he said, handing me a light blue envelope.  
  
I finished serving the plates of eggs and sausage and was about to serve when I turned to look at the letter. I immediately recognized the hand writing as Chloe's unmistakable penmanship.  
  
After I buttered the toast and handed Susie her plate, I took the letter and hurried into the living room, curious to see what Chloe had sent. I noticed that there was no return address and ripped open the side of the envelope, pulling the papers out.  
  
"What is it?" John asked when he came into the room after finishing breakfast.  
  
"Its from Chloe. Two letters, actually," I said, handing him the papers. "One is for Susie, and the other, is meant for me."  
  
He read the letters quickly and then turned to me. "She can't be serious. Can she, Susan?" he asked.  
  
"I think she is. In her mind, we kidnapped Susie from her, and now we won't let her see her daughter. She probably wrote these while high," I sighed, rereading parts of the letter to Susie that called John and I selfish thieves. I folded the papers and put them back in the envelope before standing up. "Don't tell Susie, okay?"  
  
"Don't worry about it," he said, putting his arm around my shoulders. "I've got to go get dressed for work. Get rid of that," he said, referring to the letter. "She's ours, Susan. Chloe can't do anything to hurt her anymore." He kissed my forehead before climbing up the stairs.  
  
After a few days I forgot about the letter. Then another one came. This one was worse than the first one, full of threats against John and I.  
  
"Do you think we should get a restraining order against Chloe?" John asked as we sat in the living room, reading the letter.  
  
"A retraining order? Do you really think that's necessary?" I asked.  
  
"Maybe," he said, putting the letter down and reaching for my hand. "Look at some of these threats, Susan. She's intent on getting Susie back. Maybe there is no truth in her threats, maybe she wrote these while high and doesn't even remember them, but despite that, don't you think its better to be cautious?"  
  
I looked up into his eyes. "I don't know, John. A restraining order against my sister," I sighed.  
  
"Think about it," he said, squeezing my hand and then kissing it.  
  
I had the next day, Wednesday, off. It was my turn to take Susie and some girls in her class who lived in the neighborhood, Annie and Katie, to school.  
  
When I got back, I grabbed the newspaper and mail before heading upstairs to the study. I intended to spend the day reading med journals and the newspaper. When I started sorting through the mail, however, my intentions were completely forgotten.  
  
I looked down at the simple envelope I held in my hands. It was from the BMC Emergency Medicine Journal, addressed to Dr. John Carter.   
  
As quickly as I could, I drove to the hospital. After parking, I ran in, looking for Carter. I was just about to ask Frank where he was when I saw him walking toward the admit desk.  
  
"John!" I yelled. "A letter from the BioMed Journal came!"  
  
"What?" he asked, coming over quickly. I gave him the letter and he tore it open. After reading the first few lines, he smiled. "They're publishing my article on bounce back patients!"  
  
"That's wonderful!" I said, throwing my arms around his neck.  
  
"Come on," he said, leading the way toward the lounge. "A celebratory cup of coffee," he said, pouring us each a mug.  
  
As we sat at the table, looking over the letter, Kerry came in to the lounge. "I'd heard you got a letter from the BMC Journal?"  
  
"News travels fast," John smiled. "They're publishing that paper I wrote a while ago."  
  
"That's good news. Nice to see you, Susan," she smiled at me.  
  
"Same here, Kerry."  
  
As quickly as she came in, she left and I turned back to John, who was rereading the letter for the twentieth time, and still grinning. "This is great," he began. "Anything else come in the mail?"  
  
"Don't know. I saw that and headed over here," I said, pulling the rest of the mail out of my bag. Setting it on the table, I immediately saw the blue envelope. "John, its another one," I sighed, opening the letter from Chloe.  
  
"Leave it to her to ruin the moment," John sighed as I opened the envelope.  
  
This one was different than the other two, though. Instead of letters, there were pictures, a lot of pictures.  
  
The first three I found were of John and I at work, out at lunch, and the last one in the car. On the back of each one, there was a message written in red marker. One read, "The perfect couple. Who knew they'd be kidnappers?" Another one said, "Money, great jobs, and the girl they stole."  
  
I passed the photos on to John before looking through the rest. There were pictures of me at work, a couple of John and Susie, some of John by himself, and the most chilling ones were Susie by herself. I looked on the back of a photo of John as he carried groceries to the car. It read, "This junkie gets my daughter, but I can't even see her." On each photo of Susie, the same message was written on the back, "She's not safe when she's not with you."  
  
"John, maybe we should get that restraining order," I said quietly, staring at a photo of Susie on the playground at school.  
  
"I'll call my lawyer tonight and see about it," he said, kissing my hand that he held in his. "It will be okay. Why don't you go to Susie's school, tell them to beware of Chloe or anyone else, then go home and collect the letters for evidence, okay?"  
  
"Yeah. I'll do that," I said, standing up. "John, I'm scared," I whispered. "I don't know what Chloe's capable of. Look at these, she's been stalking us."  
  
John stood up and embraced me. "Susie is ours," he whispered in my ear. "She's ours now, and as much as Chloe disagrees with that, she is ours."  
  
I stayed there, taking strength in his arms for a moment before pulling back. "I love you."  
  
"I love you, too, Susan," he smiled softly before I left.  
  
I headed to Susie's school, intending to inform them of the situation, but when I mentioned Susie's name, the attendance clerk smiled with recognition.  
  
"Yes, that's right. I'd like to talk to someone about the security of my niece," I began. "I am her legal guardian, and I need to tell you that we are getting a restraining order against Susie's mother. I need someone here to be aware of this."  
  
"A restraining order against Susie's mother?" the clerk asked.  
  
"Yes. Who do I need to talk to about this?"  
  
"Ms. Lewis, Susie's mother was already here today."  
  
I froze when I heard this. "She was already here?" I asked unsteadily.  
  
"Yes. A woman named Chloe Lewis was in here, about a half hour ago, said there was a family emergency and she had to take Susie home."  
  
"You didn't let Susie go with her, right? I mean, I have custody, her mother doesn't." I couldn't help but feel sick to my stomach as my mind raced. Chloe was here, she probably took Susie, and this woman was stupid enough to let that happen.  
  
"I'm sorry, Ms. Lewis, but Chloe warned that you would be coming, and that we should call the police if you tried to find out where they went."  
  
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Chloe took Susie? You let her take her? And you want to call the police on me?"  
  
"Yes, Ms. Lewis. Please, you need to calm down. I'm calling the police."  
  
"You do that!" I yelled, on the verge of tears. "Tell them we have a kidnapping!" I sat in a near by chair and listened as the clerk made a call to the police station, complaining of a woman who was causing a scene. I reached into my bag to get my cell phone and call John, not believing what was happening, only to realize that I didn't have it.  
  
By this time, a few of the other staff members had come into the lobby, wondering what all of the noise was about. I steeled myself, determined not to cry and asked to use the phone. The woman reluctantly agreed, and I called the hospital.  
  
"Cook County ER," Frank's voice answered.  
  
"Frank, this is Dr. Lewis. I need to speak to Dr. Carter right now!"  
  
"Dr. Lewis, he's seeing a patient right now."  
  
"I don't care who he's seeing or what he's doing, Frank. This is an emergency!"  
  
"All right, hold on a minute."  
  
I waited a while before hearing the phone line click. "Susan?" John's voice asked.  
  
"John, Chloe took Susie. She came to the school earlier, and they let her take Susie. Now they're calling the police, on me."  
  
"What?" he asked.  
  
"John, please, I need your help here."  
  
"I'll be over as soon as I can," he said, before hanging up.  
  
I put the phone down. "I need to see the principal," I calmly said after taking a moment to calm down.  
  
The clerk called the principal and by the time John arrived at the school, I had explained the situation.  
  
"What happened?" he asked after giving me a hug.  
  
"They let her go, John," I said into his shoulder.  
  
He stepped away from me and turned to the clerk who let Susie go. "How could you do this? How could you let a six year old girl leave this school without contacting us?" he yelled.  
  
"Excuse me, sir, but you need to calm down," the clerk said.  
  
"No! I will not calm down! Can anyone just walk in off the street and take a child and you'll just sit there and smile? Why did you let her go?"  
  
"The woman claimed to be her mother, and Susie seemed very excited to see her," the clerk began.  
  
"Didn't you think that was just a little strange? That a daughter should react that way to seeing her mother?"  
  
"Mr. Carter, please, calm down," one of the police men who ad arrived earlier said sternly.  
  
"Come on, John," I said, taking his hand. "We need to concentrate on getting her back now."  
  
Reluctantly, John walked with the principal, the officers, and I into the nearby lounge. We proceeded to fill out a complete report, but I couldn't really concentrate on what was happening. I kept thinking about Chloe, how she was probably filled with such anger at me that it drove her to kidnap Susie. I hated thinking that Chloe was mad at me, I was trying to give Susie the best, that's all I wanted.  
  
After the officers took the letters Chloe had sent and we finished giving statements and telling them as much as we could, they let us go. As John and I walked out into the lobby, he looked angrily at the clerk, and I couldn't help but feel a small triumph when I noticed that she had been crying. I know it sounds evil of me, but my world just slipped out from under my feet again. Once again, Chloe came and destroyed everything.  
  
Later that night, I couldn't sleep. I got up and went into Susie's empty room. I sat in the chair near her bed and stared at it. John found me there, asleep, the next morning.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
Remember what I said about a happy Carsan world? Well, the next chapter will be happy, I promise.  
  
Sorry this was so long, but I had lots of ideas!  
More to come very soon! 


	9. Chapter 9

"Susan, dear, can I get you anything?" Gamma asked me as I sat at the kitchen table late Saturday night.  
  
"No thanks, Gamma," I murmured. "I already tried to eat dinner. Guess I'm just not hungry."  
  
"How about a cup of tea and some toast? You have to eat something, Susan." She gently patted my shoulder.   
  
"Sure. Why not," I said, sitting up. Gamma smiled as she started boiling water for tea.  
  
"Don't worry, dear," she started. "I know Susie's okay."  
  
"I hope she is," I sighed.  
  
"She is, and she'll come back to us soon."  
  
"I wish I had your optimism, Gamma," I said with a small smile. "Its been two days since Chloe took her. They could be on the other side of the country by now."  
  
"I don't think they are. If Chloe is using again, then I don't think she has a lot of extra money to travel across the country. Not so much optimism, just logical thinking," she said as the teapot started whistling softly.  
  
"You're right, but it still doesn't make me feel any better."  
  
"Here you are," she said, serving me a small plate of toast and the tea. "Would you like any sugar?"  
  
"No thanks," I said, blowing the steam from the hot liquid.  
  
"Susan! Susan!" I heard Carter yell as he ran into the kitchen.  
  
"John, what's wrong?" I asked, standing up.  
  
"You're cell phone, where is it?" he asked, dropping his bag on the ground and frantically grasping my shoulders.  
  
"I'm not sure. Why?"  
  
"I was about to call you a little while ago to tell you that you left your badge at work, but I remembered that when we filled out the police report, you mentioned that you were going to call me, but didn't have your cell phone. I checked my cell phone and saw that the last call was from you, Thursday morning. Remember, Susie called me while you were driving her to school to ask something--"  
  
"John, I think she still has my phone," I said, cutting him off.  
  
"Right! You know how much she likes to play with it, and she has forgotten to give it back to you before."  
  
"What's my number," I said, reaching for the phone.  
  
"No, don't call it," John began.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"If Chloe finds it, she might turn it off. If she's high, then we won't even be able to reason with her. Its too big a chance to take."  
  
"But we have to do something!"  
  
"We've got to call the police," Gamma said. "They might be able to trace it."  
  
"Good idea, Gamma," I said, dialing the detective who had been helping us, hopeful for the first time in what seemed like weeks.  
  
Less than an hour later, Detective Zavala and three other officers were in the living room, connecting a tracking device and tape recorder to the phone line. Officer Cook stood next to John and I, telling us what was going to happen.  
  
"One of you will call the phone. When Chloe answers, you have to remain calm. The most important thing is to keep her talking for as long as possible. Try to get her to agree to come to the house for clothing or something. If we can get her here, it will be much better. Now, which one of you will make the call?"  
  
"I will," I said softly as John put a reassuring hand on my shoulder.   
  
"All right. Hey, Alan," Officer Cook called to her partner who had just finished connecting the wires. "We're ready when you are."  
  
"Okay," Alan said, standing up. "I'm all done, Courtney. Its show time."  
  
Detective Cook handed me the phone. "Whenever you're ready."  
  
I held the phone in my hand for a moment before dialing. My hand shook as I put it up to my ear, displaying my nervousness.  
  
It rang, the sound loud and shrill in my ear. Twice more it rang and I began to give up hope. The 'what ifs' started running through my mind. What if the battery ran out? What if Chloe had already found it and turned it off? What if Chloe held it in her hand right now and stared at the Caller ID screen as it showed the name "Carter" in bright letters? What if there was no one to hear it ring?  
  
By the 4th ring, I was sure that my voice mail would pick up and I would have to listen to my own pre recorded voice and give up, realizing that this venture was futile.  
  
"Hello?" a small voice whispered into the phone, which could be heard by everyone on the speaker.  
  
"Susie!" I said triumphantly. "Baby, its Aunt Susan. Where are you?"  
  
"Aunt Susan! I miss you. Uncle Carter too!"  
  
"I'll tell him. Susie, where are you? What's going on?"  
  
"I'm with Mommy. She came to get me day before yesterday and she brought me to her apartment. She's sleeping right now in the other room. I think she's sick again, Aunt Susan."  
  
"Susie, can you tell me where the apartment is?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Your Uncle John and I want to bring you home," I answered.  
  
"Oh, good. I like being with Mommy usually, but she's been mean to me. She keeps asking why I let you and Uncle John kidnap me. Did you kidnap me, Aunt Susan? Is that true?"  
  
"No, sweetie. We didn't kidnap you."  
  
"That's good, Aunt Susan. Mommy told me that you would have to go to jail for kidnapping me, but since you didn't, then you won't have to go to jail!"  
  
"Right, Susie. Now, can you please tell me where you are?"  
  
"I'm not sure about the streets, but we're under the El tracks. It gets really loud sometimes when the train goes by."  
  
Officer Cook came up to me. "Just a couple more minutes. We've almost got it."  
  
I nodded and then continued talking to Susie. "I bet it does, sweetheart. You said that sometimes Mommy is mean. Has she hurt you, honey?"  
  
"No. She just yells a lot. And when she isn't yelling at me, she's either crying or sleeping. I don't like being with her, Aunt Susan. I want to come home."  
  
"I know, baby. You can come home soon," I said, wiping away a tear.  
  
"Let me talk to her," John whispered, nudging me softly.  
  
"Hey Susie, do you want to talk to Uncle John?"  
  
"Yeah!" she exclaimed as I handed him the phone.  
  
"Susie?"  
  
"Hi, Uncle John. Is it true? Are you and Aunt Susan going to come get me soon?"  
  
"Yes it is, Susie. We're going to bring you back home."  
  
"I can't wait, Uncle John Carter. Uh-oh."  
  
"Susie? Susie, what is it? What's wrong?" he asked anxiously.  
  
"Mommy's waking up. I can hear her in the next room."  
  
"Okay, sweetie, listen carefully," John began. "Act like you're sleeping. Make sure she can't see the phone if she comes in the room. She'd be mad if she knew you were talking to us. Stay on the phone, though."  
  
"Okay," she whispered. We could hear her settling into bed and the rustling of blankets. "I'm in bed, Uncle John. I don't think she'll come in though. Usually she gets up in the middle of the night and gives herself a shot."  
  
"We're just trying to be careful, Susie," he assured.  
  
"We've got a location," Officer Cook smiled. "Tell Susie we'll be there soon to bring her back home."  
  
John smiled as he continued talking to Susie. "Baby, we're going to come get you now, okay?"  
  
"Yay! Hurry, Uncle John, Mommy sounds like she's mad."  
  
"Don't worry. We'll be there soon."  
  
"Susie?" Suddenly, we heard another voice on the other end of the line. "Susie, what are you doing?"  
  
"Oh, its Chloe," I breathed.  
  
"Susie, don't tell her you were talking to us," John said quickly.  
  
"Nothing, Mommy," we heard her say innocently.  
  
"Who were you talking to?" Chloe asked.  
  
"My dolly, Mommy. I was playing pretend with my dolly."  
  
"Go to sleep, Susie." We then heard the door close.  
  
"She's gone," Susie whispered into the phone as I sighed with relief.  
  
"Better have her hang up now," Officer Cook suggested.  
  
"Susie, I have to go now. Hang up the phone now and hide it."  
  
"Are you coming?"  
  
"Yes, sweetie. We'll be there very soon. Try to act like you're sleeping, all right? We don't want to make your Mommy mad."  
  
"Right, Uncle John. I love you, and Aunt Susan too."  
  
"We love you, baby. Bye."  
  
"Bye, Uncle John."  
  
He hung up the phone and I immediately put my arms around his neck. "She's okay," I simply said.  
  
"Yes, she is," he smiled as he rubbed my back. "Come on, time to go bring her back home."  
  
Twenty minutes later, John and I sat in the back of a police car outside of a run down tenant building. "The satellite tracker says that this is the location," Officer Cook said as she turned the car off.  
  
"So now what? We go knock on the door and ask for Susie?" John asked.  
  
"Basically," she answered. "Detective Zavala is going to go talk to the landlord. Hopefully, Chloe is high, maybe passed out, and we just take Susie and arrest Chloe."  
  
"Wait," I interjected. "Chloe is going to be arrested?"  
  
"She did kidnap Susie, Dr. Lewis. She's also most likely in possession of narcotics."  
  
"But I don't want her to go to jail," I said as John put his hand over mine.  
  
"She broke the law, Susan," he said, softly.  
  
I sat back and watched as Detective Zavala approached the building and knocked on the landlord's door. A few moments later, the landlord, a short, thin man with messy hair, answered. They talked for a couple of minutes, Detective Zavala flashed his badge, and then the landlord nodded his head before leaving. He returned a few seconds later, showing a key to the detective, who then nodded at us.  
  
"Come on," Officer Cook's partner said. "You two stay behind us. We're not sure what we'll encounter."  
  
Moments later, the six of us stood outside a beaten door; Chloe's apartment. Detective Zavala knocked loudly for a few minutes, but we got no response. He tried the knob, and surprisingly, it was unlocked. He cautiously entered the apartment, gun drawn, followed by the other three officers.  
  
"Stay back," Officer Cook whispered to us.  
  
John put an arm around my shoulder before we followed the other officers.  
  
"Chloe Lewis?" Detective Zavala called.  
  
"Aunt Susan! Uncle John!" Susie called as she ran to us.  
  
"Susie!" I greeted, pulling her up into my arms.  
  
While John and I stayed with Susie, hugging her and making sure she was all right, the officers had found Chloe.  
  
"Come on, lets go outside," John ushered us, noticing the officers handcuffing Chloe.  
  
"I was waiting for you!" Susie said happily as we walked her to the police car. "I'm so happy you came!"  
  
"So are we, sweetie," I said, kissing the top of her head.  
  
John kneeled down to give Susie a hug. I smiled and wiped another tear from my eye as he stood, holding her in his arms as she prattled on happily.  
  
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Detective Zavala leading Chloe to the other police car.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
The End  
  
maybe  
  
Trekgirl01@aol.com  
members.tripod.com/trekgirl01 


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